INFIDELITY IN MARRIAGE: CAUSES AND THE WAY OUT.

Hebrews  13:4  Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

PREAMBLE:
Infidelity can be defined as any action that violates an implicit or explicit agreement between two people, thereby undermining the relationship. The action may be physical or emotional in nature.
Marital infidelity is an act of one or both couple cheating on the partner or on each other.

LIKELY CAUSES OF INFIDELITY
Cheating on each other may be as a result of one of the following:
1. Attachment deficit disorder - Having flair for another person outside Marital relationship
2. Unresolved childhood trauma - The trauma may be as an attitude of masturbation or other misbehavior for which the person uses the excitement of illicit sex hand romance romance a romance as a distraction from painful feelings.
3. Seeking alternative due to nasty experience in marriage - Sometimes the cheater knows that he or she is in a lousy relationship and uses those feelings to justify the infidelity or to locate a new partner before abandoning the old one.
4. Lack of sexual fire - Sometimes the primary relationship lacks sexual satisfaction or emotional intimacy, so the cheater has a one-night stand or an affair to fill the void. And so it goes.
5. Emotional Disconnection - Probably the most commonly cited cause of infidelity is a sense of emotional disconnection from a partner.
NB:
An emotional affairs may start off looking like a friendship, but over time the level of intimacy increases and more personal information, especially that relating to dissatisfaction and unhappiness in their primary relationship, can become an integral part of the dynamic. The “friend” begins to take on the role as the partner, becoming a substitute in thoughts, plans, and fantasies.

6. Feeling New or Exiled Emotions - Exiled emotions are emotions repressed for a period of time due to certain activities or spirituality that gives no room for its manifestations. When it is not properly dealt with, it may spring up again. Happy people who cheat may do so to experience new or exiled emotions

7. Manifestations of Stranger within - One of the problems of human being is the allure of lives not lived. They use extracurricular sex to see who they might have been if they’d opted for a different path. This is a form of deception of highest order where infidelity introduces the individual to the stranger within.

8. Self-Exploration - Searching for a new sense of self is likely the most powerful of these reasons. When these individuals cheat, they’re not looking for another person, they’re looking for themselves (or, at the very least, for a lost or long-ignored aspect of themselves.).

LIKELY SIGNS OF INFIDELITY
1. Sudden Changes in Appearance - A partner may suddenly change the pattern of his or her dressing. If he or she is dressing differently for work, there may be a coworker he or she is trying to impress.

 2. Dramatical Changes in Attitude -  Men often get fidgety or irritable when they're supposed to be in two places at once. If the other woman demands more of his time, he may start arguments with you so he can storm out and rendezvous with her.
Another aspects of dramatic change may involve, criticizing you for things that hadn't bothered him before, like your appearance, eating habits or intelligence

3. Becoming Emotional Distant - Human emotions or love field can only accommodate one person successfully at a time. Emotional distance is one of the strongest symptoms of infidelity. Because it's hard to be emotionally invested in two people at once and to be emotionally intimate with your partner  while you betray his or her trust.

4. Being Secretive - Marriage thrives with openness in virtually every aspect of relationship.
Genesis  2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
The Secretive attitude is an unusual or unexplained behavior. If your partner becomes elusive about his whereabouts, something may probably be going wrong.

5. Epileptic Relationship - Marital union is a journey of companionship.
Matthew  19:6  "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
The ultimate purpose of marriage is companionship. Marriage succeeds when the couple are frequently available or reachable to each other.
When your spouse's mobile phone turned off during times you normally reach him, or he does claim not to have had any cell service for hours at a time. Or may be he says he has business meetings all night or a work conference all weekend. This may be a strategy to keep company with strange partner.

6. Overly Defensive - A partner who is committed to right standing does not need to exercise defense mechanism in order to justify his or her actions.

God bless you!

© Rev'd Dr. Tade Obaniyi